6 Things I Tell Every New Expat About Year 1 Abroad

Things I tell every new expat about budgeting, bureaucracy, friendships, and building a life that lasts

I’ve moved to a new country plenty of times.

And the one thing I can tell you is that year one looks nothing like what you planned for.

Then way you design your first months abroad will shape your experience more than you might think.

Here are 6 things I tell every new expat about making year one count.

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#1 Landing Is The Starting Line, Not The Finish Line

Most expats spend months preparing to leave.

Which is great.

I am all for preparing your move the right way.

But the work does not stop after you land.

It just started.

The first 90 days in a new country are your highest-leverage window.

This is when you test things.

When you meet new people.

Where you try three different grocery stores to find the one that fits your budget.

Where you walk into the bank and learn how transfers actually work on the ground, not how some blog said they work.

When you say “yes” to that awkward coffee with the neighbor you don’t know very well (yet).

Maybe you sign up for a gym, a language class, or decide to join the weekly weekend hiking group.

You are designing a new life.

The difference to before is, you’re not doing in on paper anymore.

My advice is this:

• Treat it like a “project” with energy and curiosity, but also structure

• Note down the things you learned and what you did right and wrong

• Treat every “new thing” you do (as basic as it might be) as the chance to learn

• Be prepared for everything taking more work, that you planned for at the beginning

Takeaway: Your first 90 days set the tone for everything that follows. Use them. Do things. Experiment. Go into everything with full energy and curiosity.

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#2 Budget More Than You Think For Month 1-2

By the time you leave, you will have spent plenty of time on your budget.

Rent, groceries, transport, healthcare, and all the rest.

You will land on a number.

Let’s say $4,000 a month.

Great.

Then you get there and realize you have no idea where anything is.

Chances are, you buy groceries at the closest supermarket because you don’t know a cheaper one exists three blocks away.

You eat out more because your you want to meet new people and explore new places.

Weekends turn into little exploration trips, which means taxis and coffees in neighborhoods you did not plan for.

You need a fan, a power adapter, the nice bedding that actually fits the mattress.

None of it is expensive on its own.

But in month one and two, your planned budget won’t match your spending.

And that’s fine.

If your target is $4,000 a month, set aside an extra $1,500 to $2,000 for the first two to four months.

Call it your “figuring-it-out fund”.

After a while, the spending calms down.

But if you budget tight from day one, you rob yourself of the joy of discovering your new home.

Say yes to the dinner invitation.

Try the weird restaurant on the corner.

Take the day trip.

The savings come later, once you know where you are.

Takeaway: Your real budget starts around month three. Give yourself room until then.

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#3 Be The Resident They Want To Help

Once you arrive, you will spend time in government offices.

That’s just how it works.

Residency permits, tax registration, maybe a local bank account.

Every country has its version of “take a number and wait.”

And yes, some of it is slow.

Some of it makes no sense.

But something most expats don’t think about is this:

The person sitting across from you sees hundreds of stressed, frustrated applicants every week.

People with missing paperwork, bad attitudes, and zero patience.

That’s their entire day.

Now imagine you walk in with this:

• A smile.

• A “good morning” in the local language.

• Copies of every document that is needed.

• The understanding that they are a human being, not an obstacle in your way.

I did this in Cyprus.

First appointment, I showed up with extra copies of everything, made small talk, was genuinely pleasant.

Nothing over the top.

Just respectful.

I got my next appointment weeks ahead of schedule.

Not because I knew someone.

Because I was the one person that day who didn’t make their job harder.

You can’t control how fast the system moves.

But the system is made out of people.

And you can control how you show up for them.

Takeaway: Be the resident they want to help. It costs you nothing and it opens doors.

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#4 Build Your Social Life Around More Than 1 Person

The first week in a new city, something predictable happens.

You meet another expat, you click, grab dinner, coffee a few days later, then suddenly they are your best friend.

Which is great (hold on to that person).

But then in month three, they tell you they have to leave for the summer.

And you realize you don’t know anyone else.

This happens constantly.

Expat life moves fast.

If you put all your social energy into one couple or one friend, you are building on sand.

I’m not saying don’t make close friends.

Of course you should.

But in the first few months, spread your energy.

Go to that meetup even when you don’t feel like it.

Say yes to the group hike.

Have coffee with different people instead of dinner with the same one five times a week.

No need to know the whole town.

But you need more than one phone number when Saturday night rolls around and you’re sitting alone in your apartment wondering what happened.

Takeaway: Build a circle of friends, and not just “the one” that might not be around forever.

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#5 Friendships Back Home Fade Faster Than You Expect

I learned this the hard way.

I had to repair some relationships, and would act differently today.

The first few weeks, everyone checks in with you.

“How’s the new place?”

“Send photos!”

“We miss you!”

It feels like nothing has changed.

Then life happens (on both sides).

Everyone is busy with work, kids, weekends.

And you are busy figuring out a new country.

The time zone makes a quick call feel like a scheduling exercise.

Time passes.

Then you realize you haven’t talked to someone for months.

And while there is effort needed on both sides, YOU are the one who left.

So there is a case to be made, for showing friends at home, that you still care about keeping in touch.

What worked for me:

I keep a short list of people I want to stay close to.

And I reach out with intention.

Not just “how are you” but something specific.

“I walked past a bakery today that smelled exactly like that place we used to go after work.”

“Saw a guy on a scooter with a golden retriever and thought of you immediately.”

It tells them you’re thinking about them in your new life, not just sending a lukewarm “How’s Things?”.

They probably miss you.

Show them that you miss them too.

Takeaway: Friendships don’t survive distance on autopilot. Make an effort.

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#6 Stop Filling Every Day With Activities

There’s a version of year one where you do everything.

Every weekend trip, every meetup, every restaurant recommendation, every walking tour.

The calendar is packed.

The camera roll is exploding.

Slow down.

Take a day with nothing on it.

No plans, no trips, no coffee dates.

Just you and the place you chose to live in.

Walk around your neighborhood without a destination.

Sit somewhere and watch how the city moves.

Then ask yourself a few questions.

• What gave me energy this week?

• What drained me?

• Which parts of this new life feel right, and which ones am I doing just because they were available?

This sounds simple.

And it’s very easy to skip.

I do this every day.

It helps me to constantly adjust my life towards the life I actually want to live.

Being in a new place can distract you easily.

Always come back to why you moved here in the first place.

And check regularly, if your current life still aligns with those reasons.

Takeaway: Have “empty” days. This is where clarity comes from.

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How You Show Up Matters

That’s it.

Six things.

None of them require a visa, a lawyer, or a spreadsheet.

They’re all about how you show up.

Show up right, and the rest gets easier.

Not perfect. Easier.

You will still have bad days, confusing paperwork, and moments where you question the whole thing.

But you gave it your best.

And that makes all the difference.

If I could boil it down to one line, it would be this:

“How you show up matters”

That’s it for this week.

Thanks for reading, and as always, appreciate having you here.

— Ben

PS

If you are an American 50+ and want to emigrate within the next 0-5 years, and don’t want to navigate healthcare, banking, visas, taxes and country selection by yourself, reply to this mail with “RETIRE”.

You’ll get an invite to the “Retire Abroad Priority List” with some of my best tactics for retiring abroad.